I recently engaged in a conversation where another martial artist was recounting a story of someone who they had trained with, and who had switched allegiances in terms of their training base so that they could achieve a higher grade with greater speed at their new base.
 
Who this was, where they trained, and what art it is are not important; for me the biggest surprise was that anyone would be able to live with themselves if they took an easier route than the one that they were already sustaining? 
 
I know from talking with many of my instructors in the arts that they would find it almost impossible to positively lie to themselves; if you feel off balance then to tell yourself you are not is to go against every fibre of your body that is making the counter argument.
 
I can only speak for myself when I say that for me to appreciate any reward in life I need to feel I deserve it.  Even when this occurs I look for a verifier of substance i.e. someone who is working at a level I admire and whose opinion I trust enough to accept verification of my achievement or improvement.

Trusted
Judgement

How we feel about ourselves is a key component of happiness and I've yet to meet anyone who does not have their own demons; something that can lead to a skewed view of themselves as a whole or a single aspect of their personality.  Whilst in some cases this can be a prime motivator e.g. nothing they do is ever good enough so they must always try harder (which in itself can be destructive) it can also lead to an over dependence on external acknowledgements such as grades, sycophants etc. Unfortunately, for some this can also mean cutting corners.

Nobody wishes to demean the compliments of people who love them and few people do not enjoy receiving praise for something they have done but, as in all things, a balanced view is probably best.

The key here is trust; you need to find someone within your particular field who shares a similar value system and use them as a barometer of your progress.  For instructors this can often present a problem if they constantly surround themselves with people who will only tell them how good they are and here I would suggest that the 'small fish in a big pond' approach should be sought.
 
Personally, I have been very lucky to find people to whom I am both junior and senior in the martial arts and in whose opinion I have complete trust.  These are people who help me stay balanced; who will tell me if I am being too hard on myself but conversely will also, with kindness, alert me to the fact that a particular problem I am experiencing is of my own doing or has presented itself because of something I am not doing.
 
Self belief and confidence are very personal matters but sometimes we are just too close to ourselves for our own good and external guidance, verification etc. is the only solution.  When faced with this, first observe those you would rely on, ask yourself (honestly) whether they aspire to the ideals that you hold dear, and then place your faith in them.
 
Until November…